I Just Had The Best Medical Appointment of My Fat Life
Here are the 3 (simple) things that made it amazing.
Are you desperado to meet your next anti-diet, food positive, body positive bestie in a middle school camp style environment? Have you always wanted to tear up diet books and stomp on them while dancing to Peaches? Come on down to Camp Thunder Thighs (CTT)! This one-day special camp event happens in San Francisco on August 18.
Words I’d normally associate with medical appointments:
catastrophizing
GERD
playing dead
hypervigilance
overdosing on calming gummies
crying in the car
I just had what I think might be the best medical appointment of my fat life, which was the opposite of this list. It was all the things a medical appointment should be: soothing, affirming, empowering.
Here’s the background.
A little over a year ago I entered peri-menopause. Just to make sure that my gynecologist had done her medical due diligence, she referred me to an endocrinologist to check that my irregular and very heavy periods weren’t being caused by a thyroid issue. So I set up a video appointment with her.
Here’s what she did that truly amazing:
She named that fatphobia exists in medicine.
She talked to me frankly about the fatphobia, racism and sexism that’s pervasive in medicine (and especially the history of medicine).
In an ideal world doctors shouldn’t have to take accountability for all the harm that the medical field has done to women, people of color, people with disabilities, and fat people throughout time. It really helps, though. As a fat brown woman going into an appointment with a new medical professional, I don’t start from zero, with the trust bucket full. I start from -457, where the trust bucket is a mere thimble and unlike a real thimble, it’s full of holes.
This naming of harm helped me feel seen, affirmed my past experiences, and made me feel that I was safe(r) from fatphobia with her.
I felt comfortable sharing more than I normally would during a medical appointment because I felt like she’d made it clear she understood at least some of what I’ve dealt with as a patient. This kind of comfort is what helps patients feel like they can safely access medical care when they need it.
She didn’t presume that my weight was negatively impacting my health.
For me, fatphobic medical care has historically vacillated between apathy (the “weight-loss will cure everything, see ya when you’re thin” approach) and an almost invasive snooping (the “I bet you’re about be dead and/or chronically ill and I’m going to prove it” approach). Both deteriorate trust and deter me from wanting to get medical care.
I remember being in college (when I had much less practice at medical self-advocacy), and a slender doctor put me through more and more tests to prove that something, anything had to be wrong with me because I’m fat. I could almost hear the “aha!” bubbling at the base of her throat, ready to be released at any moment. In the end, she didn’t get what she wanted, and I asked for a different provider.
In this appointment, I was asked relevant questions about my energy level and quality of sleep (things that can be affected by thyroid activity) without presumptions that the conclusions were foregone. When I told her about my energy and sleep levels, she believed me and suggested I wasn’t in a place where I needed any intervention.
She left me with straight-forward, weight-neutral advice that presumed I would age normally
She suggested that right now is the best time for me to begin doing strength training to work against the normal loss of bone density and the challenges with balance that are part of aging into my fifties, sixties and beyond.
Yes, advice to do physical activity is separate from advice to lose weight.
To be given any other advice beyond “lose weight” is already a gift. And for a doctor to give me advice that shows me that she presumes I’ll live to be old is actually revolutionary in this cultural and medical climate.
These are simple, replicable things that can make accessing medical care feel safer for people in larger bodies. If you know a friend who experiences medical weight stigma or a medical care provider you’d like to read this, please pass it on.
One more time…
Are you desperado to meet your next anti-diet, food positive, body positive bestie in a middle school camp style environment? Have you always wanted to tear up diet books and stomp on them while dancing to Peaches? Come on down to Camp Thunder Thighs! This one-day special camp event happens in San Francisco on August 18.
I couldn't be happier for you and your wellbeing!
Sitting in a waiting room right now 🤞